Talking to Your Children About Covid-19
How to Talk to Your
Children About Coronavirus
Deal with your own anxieties – If you are feeling anxious about coronavirus, the economy, etc, spend some intentional time in prayer to help God calm your storms before approaching your children. You can unintentionally spill your anxieties on your children if you don’t. Also, children do not have and should not have the same worries we do, so they don’t need to have unnecessary stress leaked on them through our non-verbal ques or allow our worries to cause us to say more than we need to say. Find your peace in Christ first!
Ask Them What They Know and What They Have Heard – The best way to find out what you need to address and/or correct is to find out where they are and what they know. You might think they know one thing and spend all your time addressing it, but it might not be what they need. The best way to assure your conversation has the desired result is ask them first (it may also allow them to get some stress out).
Keep It Developmentally Appropriate – Think back to what it was like to be that age and what your thoughts, dreams and goals were and then share at that level. I wanted to be a truck driver, because I liked the way 18 wheelers sounded when they were getting going - it was that simple. Don’t volunteer too much information or high level facts that will overwhelm or confuse your children, because then they won’t get or understand the things they need. If you ask what questions they have, it will give you where they are and you can spend your time answering their questions. Also, remember, the more important thing is not answering your children’s questions, but letting them know that you are there for them and will be there until things get back to normal.
Let Them Be Kids – I had a friend of mine’s child that was afraid an alligator was going to climb the side of his house and eat him while he was sleeping. As irrational and unrealistic as that fear is to adults, it was very real to him -it kept him up at nights. Don’t minimize, ignore or condescend to anything your child says. Yes, we need to tell them the truth and reassure them with truth (alligators don’t climb the side of houses, the only eat 50 pounds a year, etc), but we need to treat all their feelings and fears as real to them and meet them where they are with comfort, hope and reassurance.
BRING IT BACK TO THE GOSPEL – You want to be reassuring to your child, but make sure you are tying it back to the Gospel. Tell them, remind them and emphasize with them that God is in control and that God, as described in 1 John 4, is Love. I talked to my children about the fact that for people their age Covid-19 is a flu virus and can make them really sick, but they will recover (I had already asked my children what they knew, so I knew that my one daughter knew there was a child in Germany that died from it, and because I knew she had heard that I was able to address pre-existing conditions with her to calm her anxiety). If I just stopped there, I would have reassured them, but not necessarily prepared them for anything else or planted the seed of the Gospel. So, I talked to them about my dad being in the high-risk category and even if he were to get it, we know he trusts and loves Jesus, so he will be okay no matter what. I hope I don’t have to have an additional conversation about this later, but if I do, the framework has been set. If you don’t know where your children are in their faith journey, this could be a great time to ask and start a conversation….HOWEVER, do NOT use fear or coercion!!!!
Empower Them – Talk to your children about what they can do to stay safe. Wash their hands, socially distance, cough in your elbow, cleaning surfaces, etc. This will give your children a way to stay proactive in the process (kids respond to challenges) and feel less like a helpless victim (this may pay huge dividends later in their life as well).
Broaden Their World – This may be a great opportunity to help children know and understand that the world is not just about them and it doesn’t end at their nose. God loves and values all people, and as his disciples so should we. So, we don’t just care for ourselves, but, as Paul says in Philippians 2, we look to the “interests” of others and “value others above yourself.” Talk to your children about the fact that the odds are greatly stacked in their favor that if they were to catch Corona, they would be fine. However, that is not the case for a segment of our population (don’t minimize people by making them a statistic – “only 4% will die”) so talk to them about the fact that a lot of what we are doing is to protect the vulnerable and the elderly. Talk to them about the fact that a temporary inconvenience is well worth it to protect the dignity of someone we have never met (You can use 1 Corinthians 12:21-24). Broadening their worldview now will be huge benefit to their faith formation in the future.
Keep Talking – As I mention in my book, “Tackling the Talk,” it can’t just be a one and done conversation. We don’t want to unload on our children and walk away. We need to continue to have subsequent conversations. Follow up and let your children know it is okay to approach you and ask you any questions that may have when they may have them (and if they do, DO NOT tell them to wait – put your phone down and address them, because if they don’t feel like you have time for them or they are your top priority, they will find someone else to talk to that may not share your values).
I hope and pray this help!
Pastor Todd
Comments
Post a Comment